johnguinness's Diaryland Diary
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He wore manscara and guyliner
I think I've had a grand total of an inch of snow this year. Makes me feel like our part of the Midwest is slacking in the weather department. I just went to dumpstercize the trash, and the road is road colored, but with a layer of clear coat on top. That, my sidewalk, and I'm guessing everything else, are covered with an eighth of an inch of what in the local vernacular is known as slickize (I've only ever heard the word spoken). I think some places call it "black ice", but I can never keep up with if it's called black, or colored, or ice of color, or Afro-American ice, so the small town slickize will have to do.
I didn't make it to the dumpster, by the way. I made it to the back of the building by taking baby steps (now picturing myself in a diaper wobbling along with my arms waving in the air) and keeping one hand on the building. Then I stepped off the sidewalk onto the rough rock parking lot which would normally provide excellent traction, but someone had clearly spent the entire night individually coating each rock so that combined, it was Slicky McSlickstreet. It was literally all downhill to the dumpster, with thirty feet of ice on the rocks (see what I did there?) meant to build up speed and then ice on snow to really get me going. It was obviously a conspiracy to shoot me at speed across the alley and into the neighbor's yard where I would live out my days yearning for my craptacular apartment.
I didn't fall for it. Hah!
Speaking of craptacular, my toilet seems to be sorted, knock wood. It might have been the buckets of water I've plunged through over the days. Maybe I share the sewer with a different part of the building, and they did something. Maybe it had to do with the rain stopping. But it occurred to me that I haven't heated water for anything in ages. The tap water temp is barely above sleet. I haven't washed all the dishes at once in ages. When I cook mac and cheese, the hot water goes down the drain, but for days and days I'd had Tuna Helper and things like that. Then I had three days in a row of mac and cheese, and poured down some other boiling water, and that might have been enough to break up the canned vegetables or whatever caused the problem.
It was a huge relief when I tossed a bucket of water into the bowl, and it swirled away like a ride at a fun park. The idea of having my landlord and one of his cronies in here talking about the water heater, and getting up close and personal with my bathroom habits, and my actually having to get the place ready for that, seemed a nightmare.
Now there's a huge weight off my shoulders. My head is starting to get clear from the MAF and the St. John's Wort. I feel like doing some things, and they'll obviously be indoor things as long as outdoors is a steep skating rink.
Yesterday I had to shake off five days of cabin fever, so I forced myself to the movies, hoping that the freezing rain would wait patiently until I got home. It did. Free passes are only good for movies that are at least two weeks old, so Burlesque it was. Oh, I picked Wednesday because I get a free popcorn for showing my MVP Card. I never ever buy anything at the movies ($4.25 bottle of water?), but when I get free popcorn, I sprinkle nacho flavored cheese on one side and white cheddar on the other, and let my taste buds explode with seasoned goodness.
Ah, the movie. The best part was the comfy seat with the fold up armrests and the heated room. I realize that straight, smelly hobos aren't the target audience (when I go out these days I resemble an undercover cop who's been trying to infiltrate a drug ring for six months, and not in a good way), but even going in with no expectations, it was a disappointment.
The plot was thin, and basically composed of bits stolen from better films and mixed into a stew. Christina Aguilera as an actress has really nice boobs. I didn't enjoy a single song. There were some fabulous babes in the film, in great outfits, but it still sapped the testosterone out of me. I'm sure women loved the Cam guy who played a piano playing, guyliner wearing, motorcycle driving bartender who, surprise, is not gay once you get to know him. I think he gave women the wrong idea, because he did no exercise at all, but his body was so ripped and cut that if he swallowed something, you could follow it down. In real life, it would take a strong genetic head start, two hours a day of serious exercise and carefully times meals of oatmeal, chicken breasts, tuna, eggs, etc. If you shared a tiny apartment with the guy, you'd know he drank whey protein shakes.
Maybe I'm just upset that with all the hot women in the film, his was the only naked butt? A couple of times? And 96% of the rest of him?
I love Previews Of Coming Attractions. I kind of pre-judge the film I'm there to watch based on the movies they decide to advertise with it. If I hate the trailers, I'm in for a long afternoon. If there are two or three films that look great, I know I'm in the right place. Right now I'm looking forward to Fighter, Country Strong, and something called Sucker Punch. Oh, and I'm not a massive Seth Rogan fan, but The Green Hornet looks pretty amazing.
The season of The Biggest Loser has ended, and the new one starts in just three weeks. I'm looking forward to the new series, as there are two bonus trainers and a second location. My own plan is to spend the rest of the month losing the weight I regained in November when I wasn't sleeping, and then get a fresh start using a variety of sources of inspiration.
My other goal for this year is to get the apartment fixed up, trash everything I don't use, and get a new water heater. I want to be able to go for a pre-dawn walk in the cold and have a nice hot shower afterward. I want to be able to wash dishes or clothes in the sink, or shave, without having to heat water for it. I haven't stepped outside without a cap on since at least April, maybe March. And I haven't gone out feeling socially acceptable since when, my last MBA course?
To work my brain, I've returned to playing a game called Holiday Swap. I'd forgotten it since they shut it down last year at Games That Give or whatever. I just clicked my bookmark to get you the website, and Norton has blocked it as an attack site, even though I played it half an hour ago. Anyway, it was good for me to look for patterns, make decisions, get frustrated and work though it, working for goals under pressure of time. I guess I'll have to replace it.
In other non-news, I'm trying to perfect the microwave "baked" potato. I'm five or six days in, with decent results. They satisfy me, and help me avoid cravings, which means a lot these days.
My other hopes for 2010 are for the Spanish Cycling Federation to declare Contador innocent, so he can race while WADA inevitable appeals to CAS for arbitration, and to have Lance and his pals indicted for things. I still haven't decided if I'm going to follow the sport next year. There are still some riders I respect, and would like to watch race. But for now, I'm a New Orleans Saints fan. Who dat!
7:21 a.m. - Thursday, Dec. 16, 2010
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