johnguinness's Diaryland Diary
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I didn't HOP after all
Today I'm still looking for answers, in a more or less relaxed way.
I found out that IHOP does carryout now, which would have been brilliant for my free meal, but I called when they opened at six, and they said I'd have to eat inside. I guess they want to sell drinks and get tip money, but at the time,I decided it was too much money for a free meal. In December when I had Christmas cash, I probably would have done it. I still might combine it with a free movie - the theater isn't far from there, or they're open 24 hours a day for the weekend, so I could pop over at four or something.
I'm thinking a lot about food stamps right now, and making the effort to get them. It would be so nice to be able to buy meat and bananas and things, to make an early morning trip to Super Walmart and stock up on a couple of weeks worth of healthy food.
Tp make this year better than last, I decided to give the local grocery store one last chance. They failed. They have no selection on anything, and their prices on stuff like mac & cheese and tuna are way higher than the dollar store a couple of blocks away. I'd go their for the sale items in their fancy weekly circulars, but once again, items weren't marked or couldn't be found, and the one sale item I did buy wasn't in their computer again. My year is a little better if I never go there and avoid the frustration, but it will be mega better if I can get food stamps.
I'm still hitting the Netflix movies, and also catching the new episodes of TV shows that are starting to trickle in.
The first movie was I'll Be There, starring Craig Ferguson and introducing Charlotte Church. It definitely wasn't an acting contest, but it was set in Wales (don't know if it was actually filmed there or not, but I really like Wales) and I thought I'd see how the two did. I'm not sure if it changed me at all. It was hardly rife with life lessons, or plot for that matter. But I watched the whole thing, eventually.
Next up I moved on to Ireland for Ondine, a very small film with Colin Farrell. The woman was kind of cute, and it got me thinking a bit about romance and a simple life.
Human Target had a two hour episode, and I gave the first hour a shot just to see if they changed it back to the original version. They didn't. Instead of plotting security to protect someone and stop a threat, using elaborate technology and just plain I don't care if I die courage, the new woman pushed them around, and there was the usual pairs talking about their feelings. By the way, turning the female boss into a bitch doesn't restore the manliness of the show. Clearly, they went a different direction to attract certain viewers, and clearly, my brother and I were expendable.
My first DVD showed up, and I made this year better by actually playing it instead of letting it sit for four weeks then sending it back. Having a computer that actually plays DVD's gets a lot of the credit, but I still made the effort, and it will go in the mail Friday.
My odd first selection was The Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. I think I ordered it because I was going to win the lottery, and there was a money tie-in. The plot and acting were pretty weak, but I wanted a refresher on the Book Of Possibilities, and the reminder to be nice to people. There's a bit in there about working every day towards your dreams, and being willing to take a chance on things.
Tonight I watched Big Bang Theory, which wasn't the best episode, and The Mentalist, which I guess was OK. Then I got back to Netflix for Sweet November, a Charlize Theron, Keanu Reeves flick I'd seen years ago. I guess I was looking for more vicarious romance and intimacy, along with a chance to watch a person change over a short period of time. It applied more to me when I was working full time days, going to school full time nights, and commuting a couple of hours a day. These days I don't need to slow life down so much as jump start it. Also, I'd like a puppy.
The photo of myself has replaced the Four Musketeers as my wall paper. I made sure to look at it a few times today, especially when I sat down to eat. I've got no idea what ind of action I'm going to take, but I am gathering snippets of ideas from everything I see, and hope they'll piece together into a plan.
I wish me damned brain was working, and I didn't have the depression weighing things down. In December I had that bottle of MAF, but I took two a day instead of three to make it last, and I don't know how sharp I got. I was a conversational failure Saturday as I couldn't make connections in memory, but I also get worse at talking because I never do it. The topic of Canada came up in a group conversation, and most of us had been there separately. When I woke up the next morning, I remembered a bit of the coach ride home, and the beautiful Senior girl I flirted with. I was a Freshman. She was a couple of months from graduation, and possibly engaged. I don't know that we ever had a conversation other than that one time. I fought to come up with her name, and although it took two minutes, I actually got first and last, and remembered the cafe au lait color of her eyes, the shape of her mouth, and her complexion.
I mentioned the brain thing, because I'm on nothing now, and although I could work my way up to a mighty resolve by bed time to accomplish something, it doesn't mean I'll recall the decision the next morning, and I certainly couldn't recreate the enthusiasm. Damn, I wish I had a couple of months of MAF, Sam-e, and two servings a day of FRS Plus just to see what I could make happen.
I looked for the chest strap for my heart monitor, but didn't find it. I would have had it on a couple of months ago when I tried to ride the Lifecycle, the day the stop button fell off of my expensive wrist unit. I'll give Saint Anthony another shot when it's daylight. The Netflix DVD's give me good incentive to walk to the Post Office and get things started again.
My thoughts of pro cycling are down to maybe fifteen minutes a day, as I drop more and more out of the loop. That BlockSite really helps. A few things still pop up in Google searches to cause residual memories of anger, but I don't spread the info, or go fight it out with the forum folk, so I'm calm again soon.
Time to get into some deeper stuff - things I've never seen before. First in the queue is The Passion Of Joan of Arc.
Have a great weekend.
3:21 a.m. - Friday, Jan. 07, 2011
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