johnguinness's Diaryland Diary
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Back to the races
The first sleep after the Aleve went pretty well. I was down 6 or 8 hours, then got up for a few to catch up on things. I found out that I didn't make nearly enough money to even file taxes, and if I had made $185 less, my sister could have claimed me as a tax exemption.
There are amazing amounts of negative reactions to Contador being freed.
I cooked some brownies and went to bed again around two this morning, hoping to sleep for a couple of hours. That was awful. Various parts of my body, especially my left shin, are hurting. Apparently my head got yet another good shaking. I've felt anxiety for hours, my breathing is way off, and things are just not right. At this point, if someone needed a donor, I'd sell them either hemisphere for a stuffed crust pizza, half a gallon of Prairie Farms ice cream, and a pitcher of sangria.
It would be cruel to leave me with the artistic side that earned me C's in grade school Art.
I was up uber early following the text of Contador's race. He made it through OK, despite travel hell. He wasn't notified he was freed until late afternoon. He apparently missed a flight, and was still on the road at 3:30 this morning his time, got a bit of sleep, then drove the remaining fifty kilometers.
I called my sister to verify what she'd read about no repeated tax break for unemployment benefits, then told her I'd checked on the dependent thing. That shocked her, as things do that she hasn't thought of herself.
I also told her that I was attempting to get an appointment about food stamps. She reacted like that was a bad thing, and it got strangely worse when I said I was also going to apply to the Township for assistance. I mean, I'm trying to relieve the burden on her, and at the same time have regular healthy food so I don't lose my toes and stuff. She asked "why now", which led me to believe they've been talking behind my back again about me moving in with her, probably after I drove off from my brother's. She blurted out something like "if you weren't so dead set against moving in with me" and my head was gonna explode, so I said I had to get off, and repeated good bye until she responded and I could click off.
If it ever came to that, with me going from isolated depression to depression with every minute of my life & every hair on my face under scrutiny, I'd be floating down the Mississippi to New Orleans. That's not a threat, or an exaggeration, or a cry for help. It's if A, then B. So I hang up on any discussion of A.
I'm committed to getting the painful stuff out of the way, so I forced myself over to the Township Office to get the forms, came back here to fill them out, and returned them within the hour.
They'll look at my checking account, so I paid the past due amount of my phone bill and my couple of months ago power bill to clear out all but ten dollars of grocery money. At this moment I owe one month (recently past due) of water bill, one month plus another about to be added of phone bill, and I believe ninety dollars plus a new month about to be added of electric bill.
I've got five dollars, a box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese, two bags of bargain L'itl Smokies from my brother, and four loaves of fifty cent (the bargain almost expired price, not the rapper) bread to last me until a late in the month trip to the food pantry.
I haven't seen fruit in ages, or milk in days.
I've still got to work up the revised 2009 Missouri taxes, and put together packages for my student loan companies, but the anxiety and the shaken brain aren't up to it today.
I guess I'll try to catch up on a few online TV shows then head to bed for a day or two.
1:39 p.m. - Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2011
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