johnguinness's Diaryland Diary
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Last word ever on the Township
I'd tell you what's gone on since my post last Friday, but I really haven't kept track. Temps have reached the high nineties every day. I don't actually go outside, but it gets hot in as well/ I've indulged myself with occasional blasts of air conditioning from ten feet away. It blows right on my face, and I can breathe great. I've realized that a lot of the problems aren't from my body, but from the hot, humid, enclosed space with no circulation.
I'm still sleeping during the day, and it's still not enough, as in well shy of eight hours. I also tend to have dried up eyes and need sleep by the middle of big tennis matches.
My new air mattress arrived Tuesday. I figured I'd finally get some longer stretches of sleep, but that didn't happen, sadly.
I got a response from the Township. They gave me another checklist of things I need to do not to receive assistance, but for them to just consider me for assistance. Talk about playing hard to get - there apparently aren't any written qualifications. It's a joke.
They told me that I have to register with the Illinois Department Of Employment Security. That's the equivalent of the Missouri organization that gave me unemployment benefits. For me to register, I'd be filing for unemployment benefits I don't deserve from a State I haven't worked in the past ten years. So yeah, it would look like I'm trying to get benefits I haven't earned, and overworked people would waste time checking me out.
They told me to apply for a Medical Card, and document the response. Well, I ticked the box for that and cash assistance when I applied for Food Stamps. My case worker told me at the time that I'd need to be getting Disability benefits to be considered. The Township people should know that to get the medical help you either need to be getting Disability, or be blind, or 65 or over, or pregnant, or have children under the age of 19. They know none of that applies to me, but want me to go through the crap anyway.
They said they were trying to be helpful in telling me to apply for Disability, and insisted again that I do so. Here's the thing. Social Security only looks at 100% disability, and the standard is different for everyone, but simple. #1 If you've worked this year and earned more than $1100 a month, they decline. #2 If you would be capable of working your last job, they decline. My last job was Internal Auditor. It was a desk job. They sent me to the store to pick out my own desk chair. Some times I'd walk thirty or forty feet, and send a fax or make copies. It wasn't at all physically demanding, and I could do it now. I'm not lying about that to try to get money, and I'm not attempting fraud.
In their great wisdom, the Township decided that if I claim to not be disabled, I must be available for the Community Work Force. I Googled that, and it brought up a bunch of law enforcement websites. I don't know about the local version, but other groups by that name are for prisoners to get out for a few hours, under guard, and pick up trash along the highway or whatever. Other versions would have guys who have committed crimes do the physical labor as part of their punishment.
So yeah. I was hoping for help with my power bill so I could run air conditioning in my apartment and not die. But the Township thinks that if I claim not to be disabled, because I could do a desk job, that means I should be able to be out in the sun all summer doing physical labor. Effing genius.
I didn't bother with the financial documentation and other requirements, as I decided to stop banging my head against the wall. I told them in one page what I just told you, and copied and pasted the official bits about disability and the requirements for the medical card.I'm not happy, but I'm done with the people. To qualify for Food Stamps, I just had to have less than a specific amount of income, and document that my sister is lending the money. If they were gifts instead of loans, it would count as income, but it would still be little enough that I'd qualify anyway.
I'm not sure there is a way to qualify for the local stuff. I filled out their lengthy application, then they had me bring in documentation of everything, after they'd seen the bill amounts and things on the application. Now they want more stuff, and there's still no guarantee that I'd get it, even if I do everything they say, piled onto what they had me do before? I'll stop before I curse.
Since I bored you over time with all of the other Lance stuff, I'll go ahead and share that latest rumor, reminding you that it is really just a rumor at this point. A lot of the Lance legend is made up. That's documented. In his most recent book, there's a story that his son was at the ceremony for the 2009 Tour de France, and when he saw Contador wearing the yellow jersey, the son said something like, "Dad, why is that guy wearing your shirt?" It was in the book, millions of people think it happened, but someone asked Lance about it in an interview, and he laughed and said it never happened. The same goes for his version of a lot of things. But the basis of his story is the whole cancer thing, and coming back from that. Before the surgery, or treatment, he said he went and made a deposit at the sperm bank, and that's how the twins were made later. But a couple of years ago, he knocked up a woman he was dating the good old fashioned way. Then they had a second kid, and nobody bothered to ask how it was possible. It's also commonly accepted as fact that Armstrong had a testicle removed due to cancer. Robin Williams nicknamed him the Uniballer. Lance's coffee shop next to his bike shop, and his triathlon alter ego twitter account, have the name Juan Pelota, a joke about one ball. The recent rumor is that his former fiance, Sheryl Crow, told her friends that Lance still had the original equipment, and was sure it wasn't a replacement part. There are so many articles still being written about how Lance has done so much good that there's pretty much nothing in the world he should be punished for. What if the rumor is true, and all these guys who actually lost a testicle, and the families and friends of those people, find out that Lance only had a lump removed? Then have him exposed as bribing to have him bribing drug testers, and cycling officials, evading taxes, laundering money, transporting and dispensing illegal drugs, lying in business contracts, lying under oath to win multi-million dollar lawsuits - how much will it take for people to wake up and smell the coffee? Tiger Woods was this huge scandal, and all he did was cheat on his wife. No one accused him of cheating at his sport. Some didn't like that he claimed to be the good family man while he was actually a serial cheater who kept paid mistresses, but he never tried to get fans to do more than watch him on TV on Sundays, or buy things from the companies he endorsed. They still ended up with the car, or razor, or clothes.
1:21 a.m. - Wednesday, Jun. 08, 2011
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